Kristy's Obituary

From the Richmond Times Dispatch:

Kristy Kirby Williams

WILLIAMS, Kristy Kirby, 35, of Mechanicsville, departed this life Friday November 28, 2008. She was preceded in death by her grandparents, Harold and Audrey Meador and Pierman L. Sr. and Lou Ellen Kirby. She is survived by her husband, Chris Williams; four children, Kenneth M. DuVall, Kristen E. DuVall, William J. "Trey" DuVall, and Eric A. DuVall; her mother, Kathryn Lavoie and husband, Allen Lavoie; father, Kenneth Ray Kirby and wife, Christine A. Kirby; two sisters, Kathryn Ellen Bullock and husband, Bryan, and Karisa Kirby. Also six nieces and nephews, and numerous friends. A special thank you to her aunt, Molly Pinner, for all of her love and care. Kristy was a Hanover County School bus driver. The family will receive friends 5 to 8 p.m. Sunday, November 30, 2008 at the Mechanicsville Chapel, Bennett Funeral Home, 8014 Lee-Davis Road, and where a funeral service will be held 2 p.m. Monday. Interment will follow at Gethsemane Cemetery, Mechanicsville, Va. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the DuVall Children's Fund, c/o E.V.B. Bank, Old Church Office, 4241 Mechanicsville Turnpike, Mechanicsville, Va. 23111.

Gone from our sight

It seems that I am at a loss for words....to speak of our grief seems so very inadequate. Her Mom, KK, and her Dad, Ray are truly suffering....but the faces of her children are the images that you cannot remove from your mind. They are such brave children, and loved their Mom very much. How do you console a child when they loose their mother? Or a mother when they loose their child? Everything is inadequate!
WHY, WHY, WHY.....I know we are not supposed to ask this question, but it is so hard to accept the fact that healthy, thirty-five year old Kristy should be so stricken with such a dreadful disease. It was January 30, 2008, when we had just left Quartzsite heading for Phoenix, when KK emailed to tell us that Kristy had been diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. I knew almost nothing about such a diagnosis, but quickly learned that she had a very high risk case of this disease. Still, I thought, many people live long lives with leukemia, and they can cure most anything these days. Wrong, wrong wrong.

She suffered more than anyone should have to, enduring the most lethal doses of chemo, trying so hard to live. She really wanted to live. She truly gave it her all, and through it all, I never once heard her issue a complaint. Her mouth and throat were completely covered with raw lesions, but she complained not at all. She was always grateful, thanking the nurses, and anyone who did anything for her, constantly. More than anything, she did not want to burden anyone. She worried about her mom, and how much she was juggling her work, and helping with the kids and keeping so many balls bouncing. And she worried about her dad, as she thought he was worrying himself too much over her, and how often he would come to sit at the hospital with her. She did not want her illness to take a toll on them. And of course, most of all, she worried about her children. She loved them so much.....as her Dad said, when they walked into the room to see her, her face would light up like a one thousand watt bulb.....they just meant so much to her. She truly wanted to live for them. But God had other plans.

The days spent with Kristy during the last month were special ones. It was a priviledge to be with her and she inspired me with her tenacity and how hard she struggled to get to the other side of her Bone Marrow Transplant. When the doctors began to indicate that her cells had not engrafted, we were very concerned about the options. She had no white blood count, and thus, was completely vulnerable to any and all infections and viruses. The docs told us it would take 30 to 45 days to get another donor and stem cells. What a precarious situation. Sure enough, around day 30 she began to show signs of serious infections. It was apparent on Monday that she was getting sicker, but still, I thought she could come through it. By Wednesday, I felt that only a huge miracle would bring her through this, and I just knew that the miracle would come. Thursday afternoon she was suffering from delusions and her blood oxygen was down to about 82. She was drifting in and out of sleepiness and was really having congestion and mucousitis issues. They increased her oxygen intake and called Dr. McCarty. It seemed that her current meds might be causing the delusional issues, so the meds were removed.
We left her around 6 PM and a sitter was ordered for her.

At 11:40 pm KK called me to say that a gentleman from MCV had called to say that Kristy had been found "unresponsive: but with a pulse" and to come on over. I threw on my jogging suit and dashed from Montpelier to Ashland to pick up KK. We hurried on up to MCV hospital, arriving around 12:30, about the same time as Ray (her Dad). They took us into the conference room to await Dr. McCarty. He came in around 1 :15 am and told us they had found Kristy unresponsive around 11:20. They tried everything to resuscitate her (paddles, drugs, everything!) and her heart would not even try to restart. She died peacefully around 12:25. They remain unsure as to what brought about the failure...possibly the fungal or infections attacked her heart, and it could not withstand it. They asked to do an autopsy so we may learn exactly what transpired.

She had been at peace all week, seeming to know that the children were being cared for and that she had gotten some things in order that she had been wanting to get straight. She knew that she was loved and cared for by her family and children, and was more at peace with things than she had been in a long time. She had let go of some of her "worrying". She never gave up and never quit fighting, but the miracle never came. God had other plans.

Endless tears are shed, and it hurts so deeply to know that she is gone, and that she had to suffer so. But there is comfort in knowing she will suffer no more, and that she knew she was loved, and had the full support of her family. She is at peace now, and still loved. But our hearts hurt so deeply, for the young woman gone from our sight, and for the four children that she loved so.

Your kindness and condolences mean so much to us.... many thanks !

(Copied from Molly's blog 11/28/08)

Services for Kristy Kirby Williams

Visitation will be Sunday 5 pm to 8 pm at Bennett's Funeral Home on Lee-Davis Road in Mechanicsville, VA
Her funeral will be Monday, December 1st, at 2 pm at Bennett's, with burial at Gethsemane Christian Church

We will post soon with some updates.
Many thanks for your kindness and concerns.

NOT a bump in the road....

It seems that it wasn't just a bump in the road....we lost our sweet Kristy girl last night around midnight. She isn't suffering anymore.
Many thanks for all of your kindnesses....we are all so grateful.


(Written by Aunt Molly)

A little bump in the road....

The last couple of days brought a little bump in the road for Kristy. She developed some infections on Saturday and by Sunday she was pretty sick. Monday they did some testing (what day do they NOT do testing?! thankfully! :)) and found that she had a Lung infection (pneumonia), a blood infection and a UTI; they had already stepped up the antibiotics so they were on top of it.

Tonight they called and said they were moving her into ICU due to the infections and some blood found in her lungs. KK said she seemed to be doing better already, so it seems they are taking good care of her.

She is awaiting another transplant as soon as they can get the donor cells, so please keep praying for those cells to come, and for the infections to dissipate and her WBC to go UP. She is still a trooper and just keeps going everyday.

Thursday is Thanksgiving Day and we have so much to be grateful for. I am reminded of this every day.
We wish everyone a thankful and plentiful holiday.

(Written by Aunt Molly)

Kristy's kids go to Catonsville

Kristy's two middle children, Kristen and Trey went with Aunt Molly to visit Tiffany and Scott in Catonsville (just North of Baltimore) this weekend. Scott was going to take Trey duck hunting in Delaware.

Scott and Trey got up at 3:40 AM to go hunting...here they are dressed in camo "duck hunting attire"

They returned around 1 PM to get ready to visit the Aquarium in Baltimore.

We also did a few other fun things, like eating lunch at Friendly's and making Ice Cream sundae's.......

going to the National Aquarium in Baltimore, where Trey watched the colorful marine life...

Kristen, Trey and Tiffany observed the birds in the Tropical Rainforest.....

Kristen, Tiffany and Aunt Molly made some yummy Chocolate Chip cookies ....

and Kristen (along with everyone else) had lots of fun with Dixie the grand-beagle!

It was very cold, and there was even a little snow blowing but it was a fun weekend with Kristen and Trey. Trey and Scott cooked a wonderful breakfast of "eggs in a bag" and gingerbread pancakes..yum yum!! And Kristen created some lovely cards in Tiff's craft room in the basement. Trey even made a few cards too. They both made special cards for their Mom....she will be so delighted!
Soon there will be an outing with Kenneth and Eric...so there's more fun coming up with the kids!!
The kids all send hugs and love to their Mom!!

(Written by Aunt Molly)

Pleased....

I saw Kristy last night and was very pleased with what I saw. I was actually able to talk to her without her falling asleep or having dialysis. One of the kidney drs. came in an told her she would start having dialysis every other day. She was excited about that. While I was there she got her shower, and I thought I would have to help her, but she did it all on her own. I was so proud of her. Kristy asked me what was wrong, and I replied there is nothing wrong. How can you talk about your life and what your doing while your sister is in the hospital trying to keep from dying? Wouldn't that upset her? I talked about good things, at least I tried to talk about good things...but I don't know. Well, anyways.....Kristy is slowing progressing and that is a good thing....she will be getting more stem cells from what she has told me...I just don't know when. Please everyone keeping praying for my sister, she still has a long road ahead of here.

Day 25 Update

Kristy has been holding her own fairly well. She is beginning to get a little bit of kidney function so this is a step in the right direction. She still receives dialysis almost daily and it is pretty tough on her, so it would be great for those kidneys to kick in.
Her WBC was .700 today and the doctors have scheduled a Bone Marrow biopsy on Thursday to see what the cells are doing. Hopefully, she is growing the donor cells, and just may need a few more to get her WBC up and running. This test will give the information the docs need to assess if she will need another transplant of cells, and time to schedule with the donor to obtain the marrow, so that it can be done promptly. It was described this way by Dr. McCarty: If you re-seed your lawn with 5 pounds of seed, and it needs 10 pounds, then it's good to get the balance of those seeds on the lawn quickly. So this is the latest plan!

She is still having a pretty rough time of it; terrible mouth and throat sores, but she still tries to drink and eat the things that they want her to ingest.

We sure appreciate your prayers for her and the children.

Update

In case yall are wondering...Kristy is progressing. I haven't seen her since Wednesday, but from what I hear, her WBC went up to 1700 as of 12pm yesterday afternoon. The cells from her bone marrow are starting to grow and the doctors are keeping a close eye on her because this will be the time graft versus host disease may kick in. I am praying this will not happen because Kristy has been through so much already. She is still on dialysis. Do not quote me on this but...the doctors are concerned that her kidneys have not functioned by themselves completely. I am going by what people have told me, and you know how word travels and things can get messed up. She is going through physical therapy, I don't know how often or how long, but I do know it wears her out and she has been sleeping alot. I text her or call her to leave a message on her cell to see how she is doing every now and then if I can't get to the hospital. She responds by text because it hurts her too much to talk. I will try to keep you posted as much as I can as I learn her progress. Kristy has a long road ahead of her for a full recovery....Please keep my sister in your prayers along with her family.

Day 20

Just a short post to say that Kristy is progressing....her WBC (white blood cell) count (those little guys that give you an immune system) is up to about 700 today so it is beginning to come up a little bit each day and this is good. She's been getting dialysis every day which is making her much better. It is so great to see her alert and responsive! She had us a little worried!!

Her attitude is so good....she just keeps going, trying to do what the doctors ask, even when she feels really puny. Her mouth, throat and pretty much all mucous membranes are pretty much completely raw.....I cannot imagine how painful it must be, but I know it's tough for her.
The nurses and staff continue to give her good care, although she does not have the aide 24/7 now, as she has improved. PT came today and got her to walk down the hall twice, so she can get some strength back.

All in all, she's fairing as well as could be hoped. The hope and prayer now is for the cells to engraft and bring the WBC up, and to avoid the graft-versus-host-disease (GVHD), and I just know that this will happen, all in good time.
Many thanks for your prayers, cards and calls! The sentiments mean alot to her (we read the cards to her and she enjoys them alot) and to us.
People are so very good, and we are very grateful!

(posted by Molly 11/12/08)

Wonderful news!

We are so thankful this morning to see Karisa's latest post. Praise God! This is such good news and an answer to prayer. Kristy, rest all you can, follow the doctors' orders, and you will soon be relaxing at home. It sounds as though you have an excellent team of doctors and nurses in addition to the love and caring of family and friends. We have a lot of family and friends here that often inquire about you and are diligently praying for your speedy recovery. We hope you have a good day today and even better days ahead. God Bless You!
Love,
Brenda and G.L.

Getting Better by the day!

I saw Kristy yesterday and today....It's amazing how she has done a complete 180. When I came in yesterday, Kristy was sitting in her chair eating cheerios. She only ate a little bit because her mouth hurts so much from the sores. She also drank some water out of her bottle. The doctors came in around 12 and said her blood work was over 200 which is .2. They did dialysis again and the doctors had changed the tubing from her thigh area to her neck. She was more comfortable knowing she could lay on her side and not be so agitated. She feel into a deep sleep and she looked so peaceful. Before I left her room, her blood pressure was 114 over 74....which is good because that is how mine is most of the time. Today, before I came, she already had her dialysis, so I was able to talk to her a little bit. Her blood work now is 300 which is .3, so it's possible it will get higher in the next couple of days if the bone marrow has graft. After she had dialysis, she was able to go potty on the potty chair. Which is great! I had brought her cinammon applesause and she ate some of that too. She said she was so hungry but her mouth hurt so much to eat. While I was there, they hooked her up to an EKG machine. The nurse wanted to get the doctor to double check it and compare it to the prior EKG taken. While Kristy and I were waiting, she was falling asleep and she wanted me to keep talking to her so she wouldn't fall asleep. I told her it was ok for her to sleep and that she needed her rest. I covered her up and she finally fell asleep. I pulled down the shade a little bit to keep the sunlight out. I finally left knowing she was asleep and to give her sometime by herself before she had more visitors within the next few hours. As of now, I don't know when I will be able to visit Kristy again. I am hoping it will be Tuesday or Wednesday. Aunt Molly is coming back from SC and she will be at the hospital tomorrow. Now that Kristy is coheritant, her days may go faster if someone is with her every day to talk to her.

Heartfelt Moment

I went to visit Kristy today around 1pm. She was in the process of dialysis. She seemed restless, but who wouldn't be if you were confined to a bed. There was an order put in her chart for her to have restraints during dialysis only because she wanted to turn constantly. I talked to Kristy about Eric and Lia's Holloween trip friday night and how Lia attacked the Michael Myers look-a- like with her bag of candy. I talked about some of our childhood memories and I also told her she had to lie still and stop being so stubborn. Gee, I wonder where she gets that from....I also told her when she gets better we can start having a girls night out and do what sisters are supposed to do. I look back at all my childhood memories with Kristy and realized I liked to follow her around alot and follow in her footsteps. I always eavesdropped on her phone calls ....what little sister wouldn't do that? I also played the saxaphone just like her....I admired her so much and I still do. Now I realize that I am buying the funky little socks she wears for myself. She must be doing something right...I didn't realize how much I loved my sister until something like this happens....Wow..What a way to wake up someone....I was sitting in the room and holding Kristy's hand remembering the time I was in the hospital with her while she was in labor with her first born. It's funny how you can remember things like that when they have been so easily forgotten. Well, since I have embarrassed myself in front of complete strangers....If anyone would like to help Kristy or her children in anyway such as food, please visit this website http://www.angelfoodministries.com/. Kristy was looking into ordering food from this organization before she went into the hospital for her children. I don't know if she was able to or not. God Bless!

Day 11 update

I sure wish I could say that Kristy was better, but she is really struggling. Most days she sleeps, sometimes fitfully and sometimes peacefully. They say this is the best thing for her while they try to get her electrolites and blood levels corrected. They should start dialysis every day now (as opposed to every other day), and that will make her better. The doctors and nurses seem pleased with her progress so this is a good thing. It's just very hard to see her so very sick and able to do nothing to really help her. Despite the fact that you know up front, going into a Bone Marrow Transplant that the patient will be deathly ill, you're still not quite prepared for the life struggle that they must go through.

It is humbling to see the BMT patients on the wing with Kristy as they fight their individual battles for survival. What a tremendous reminder to count your blessings every day. (Copied from Molly's blog today)

Many, many thanks to all of you who have sent cards, left greetings, called and just been so supportive.
Big thanks to Chris' Grannie Barbara who is staying at their house with the children. She's spunky and organized and a great granny....has the kids in a good routine and the house is spotless. Kristy would be so happy to know this and that the kids are doing well. Eric and Trey spent the weekend with KK and Allen and Karisa took them Trick or Treating on Friday night, so they had a good weekend. Many things to be gratedful for!

(Posted by Molly 11-3-2008)

Today was about the same as yesterday

Molly stayed with Kristy today so I'll let her type up a blog about today. We didn't go to MCV tonight to let Kristy rest. Thank you all for prayers and comments I know Kristy will want to respond to each of you when she is able.

Today was a hard day to be with Kristy

Some days you remember more than others and I think this is one. I talked with Richard, her nurse, before seeing her. Richard explained alot of things to me and I understood what he meant and why. Some of Kristy's number are too high and some of her numbers are too low in her kidney results. She was not very responsive today, but in another way she seemed stronger. Kristy and I have spent a lot of time together over the last year. We have cried together, laughed together and sometimes knew what the other ment without completing the sentence. I miss those times very much right now. I undersood her today, but they were only mumble yes and no answers. Only if you knew what she was thinking could you figure it out. I decorated her room for fall. She is missing all the seasons. I asked her if she would like ice chips and I knew when she said yes and I knew when she said no for no more. She liked having her mouth cleaned out and she let me know when it was enough and not to do anymore. Today she did squeeze my hand once or twice, but it is hard to leave her when you feel like you should stay and do more. Tomorrow Molly will stay with her and I will try to go back tomorrow night for awhile. If any of you could spare a few hours on weekends to stay with Kristy we would really appreciate it. We have been taping the cards that she has received upon her wall and we are asking you to write a small message in a composition notebook as to what time you came and the date. This is so that she can read it later. Thank you for all the prayers and support that you are sending her way.

Kristy has gone a little downhill

Well as you know from my last post, Kristy has been doing really good. But her numbers climbed higher than they had been so they are bringing the dialysis machine back in. She opens her eyes to yes to your voice and can respond in hmms and umums. So you can tell if she likes it or not. Her head has been shaved now as her hair has started falling out again. Her skin is so soft. She's likes laying on her left side the best and you can't put the cuff on her left arm because she has had problems with that one since February when the IV went out into her hand. She is very sick. I'm not go to say she isn't. I am going to decorate her room for fall and Thanksgiving as she loves to see the decorations when she is alert. Please keep sending cards and comments to her, because she will enjoy reading them when she is better. She can hear us when we are talking to her and so I guess that is where I learned to talk to myself. Allen is sleeping in the chair and Kristy is sleeping in her bed and seems less agitated now. She doesn't like laying on her back. Eric went Trick or Treating with Lia and Karisa and Molly last night. Now Molly took him out and I think he and Trey are coming back to spent the night with us and probably ride their pony and horse. So I will close now and we will be leaving shortly so that she can get some rest. Please say a prayer for Kristy today and everyday. I ask the Lord to watch over her and to ease her pain everyday. I would ask that each of you ask that to. I know I haven't return any phone calls lately but there are other issues that I am having to deal with right now. I ask all you to say a prayer for my family as more trying times are yet too come. When you have other children they sometimes feel forgotten when one is as sick as Kristy, but please pray for my daughter and her family in Texas. They need your prayers very much right now just to get thru each day and months to come. I keep asking the Lord to lighten my load, but I guess He just doesn't think I need it yet. So for any of you that are having troubled times right now, "May the Lord bless and keep you in his loving grace until we cross the rainbow bridge" and beyond.